Welcome to Definitely Maybe, Gwen's personal space on the web, hosted by the lovely Rose! ♥
LA FEMME
Gwen. 23. Sagittarius. Dutch girl. Psychology student. proud brunette. sarcastic. honest. neurotic. sweet. people pleaser. movie buff. magazine whore. "every day is a fashion show". Phantom Planet.
Maroon 5. Drake Bell. Rooney. Razorlight. Ashlee Simpson. Ali Larter. Katherine Heigl. Scarlett J. Rachel McAdams. Jessica Biel.
Eric Christian Olsen.
Jake Gyllenhaal. Dermot Mulroney. <3 Jared Padalecki. John Krasinski. Elizabethtown. The Family Stone.
Empire Records. 10 Things I Hate About You. Magnolia. My Best Friend's Wedding. Scream. Almost Famous.
Chasing Amy. Planet Terror. The Office.
Grey's Anatomy. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Scrubs.
Date: 08/20/08 Listening: Come Flash All Your Ladies - The Filthy Youth Watching: Malcolm in the Middle Reading: Shopaholic Ties the Knot Feeling: tired Loving: Gossip Girl! Last movie: Get Smart (it was okay) Surfing:HSX
I love comments and I love returning comments, but what I don't like is empty comments - meaning stuff like: hey, nice site! love
your layout!. If you're planning on leaving an empty comment, don't bother, cause I'm not going to visit your site. I like reading people's blogs and
commenting something meaningful, but don't expect me to waste my time if you can't even bother doing it in the first place. [/rant]
Host:Rose Online since: 02/19/05 Layout: by me featuring Amy Adams Image credit:amy-adams.org
Best viewed in 1024x768
I NEED A SHOT OF ADRENALINE
Wouldn't that be nice? I'm not exactly enjoying this state of chronic fatigue I'm in (not to be confused with chronic fatigue syndrome). I work and hang out with friends. And I have all these sites that need updating. How are you guys able to make time for yourself? Working on my sites used to be part of "me-time", but now it feels more like an obligation. Like, I have to update Ali Fan, cause there are about a zillion other Ali sites around and mine will lose popularity. Even though I really love that site, you know. But I update it for my visitors, not for me.
I was thinking about how I used to balance things when I was still at uni and I was busy all the time too. But then I saw my friends there on a daily basis, and not as much in my spare time, because uhm.. that would be overload. Now it just takes so much time to travel to visit them. This will sound really bad, but sometimes, I just don't think it's worth it. Especially if it's after work and I can't stay that long, because I have to travel all the way back using public transportation and I have to be on time for the last subway otherwise I can't get home. And, I feel like this big party pooper! I used to be fun. What happened?!
Don't mind me. I'm just wallowing in the black hole that is post-university life, just like my friends.
I don't understand why it's so impossible for me to blog on a weekly basis anymore. I could do it like 2 years ago and at the time I had 4 fansites to manage as well. Hmmm.. Anyways, yes, I've been working extra, but I don't mind. The extra money is nice. What I don't think is nice is that they depend waaaay too much on me. Today's my day off and work even called me to ask stuff. Besides doing the website stuff, I have to register the new clients, make/change appointments, answer the phone, play hostess, check the (e-)mail, make sure the volunteers are okay and are doing their jobs properly, be of assistence to the new therapist who doesn't really know how this place works yet and just be helpful to anyone in general. My contract ends in November and when one of the volunteers made a casual remark about it, I actually saw my boss panic for a sec at the thought of me leaving. She even asked me if I'm interested in becoming the new office manager. I'm not though. I think the longer I work there, the harder it will be for me to leave and find a job as a psychologist.
I recently read that Juno-screenwriter Diablo Cody had the opportunity to pick 12 movies to screen at the New Beverly Cinema. Then I saw all these different movie blogs posting their picks and thought, 'why not?' Only I'm picking 14 movies so I have two for each day of the week and I had trouble narrowing it down to 12.
Our office manager quit today. Around 3 pm, she simply turned off the computer, grabbed her bag and said, 'I wish you guys the best' and walked out the door. We all knew it was gonna happen at some point, but it was still kinda shocking. Guess I'll be working extra the next couple of weeks. Tomorrow's my day off so I don't know what's gonna happen then, but I'll be working on Friday. I kinda feel like I 'have' to work tomorrow, because of what happened, but I need time off otherwise I might go insane. My head is just so full right now with stuff I still need to do. Tomorrow I won't even be doing fun stuff cause I need to work on my internship report.
So, not long after our crisis situation today, I went on a house visit with one of the therapists, because the client is terminally ill and can't make it to the office. From the start of my internship, I said I was never going to do a house visit. I find it scary going to someone's house and you know that person is going to die soon. It was very sad. The guy is only 36 years old. I decided to come along to see what it is like, but now I know for sure that I never want to do it. Maybe that will change when I'm older. Right now, it's too difficult for me to deal with, because I get too emotional. I still feel sad about it now.
Last week I took that website course I was talking about before. Like I expected, it was a waste of time. They were talking to me like I was dumb and starting explaining things I already knew. So I told them that and they were like, 'why are you here then?' I told them what they are supposed to 'teach' me and when they wanted to show me that, their stupid program didn't work again. I was out of there within 45 minutes. Imagine my surprise when I received an e-mail on Monday from our project leader asking me when I'm going over there again. OMG, I was furious, you have no idea! I'm refusing to go. I have already figured it out myself anyways.
Well, that was a lot of bitching and complaining. I'll spare you guys about the other stuff that's been going on, but so far, it hasn't been a good week. I think I'm just gonna watch a feel good movie and call it a night. I'll return comments soon - I promise!
Work is still weird. Our office manager had a week off and we weren't sure she was ever returning. My boss even asked me if I'm willing to work more and switch certain days to cover for her if she doesn't return. Our secretary is going on holiday soon and if our office manager didn't return, no one would be there to register the new clients and make appointments. However, she did show up for work, but it's still unclear if she's really staying or still quitting. For now, I remain my boss's plan B. Should I be flattered? Should I be insulted? Who knows! [...] I need time off..
Sometimes I wonder why parents don't watch their children better. I was at the subway station and standing at the top of the escalator was a toddler. He wanted to step onto the escalator so I was already thinking to myself that this isn't going to end well. I see his parents still busy checking themselves into the station as I get onto the escalator. Not 10 seconds later the toddler falls onto the escalator crying. I walk up to him and pick him up, because I don't know how many times a year I hear about kids getting stuck in an escalator. Suddenly the dad comes running and screaming at the kid as I wait at the bottom of the escalator and he grabbed him without even saying thanks. Yeah, you're friggin' welcome, dude. Try birth control or a vasectomy. Please. Yes, I understand children wander off, but letting them wander around a subway station is not the best idea. One time I had to carry a toddler into a subway, because his parents had already boarded and the doors were closing and they were yelling at him to come him and he was just standing there crying. Why do people yell at toddlers? Does that really work?
more?
And, I feel like this big party pooper! I used to be fun. What happened?!
Lotte, Jamie, Cecile, Tuesday, Angela, Becca, Seriya, Rob, Aichee, Colette, Julia, 
However, she did show up for work, but it's still unclear if she's really staying or still quitting. For now, I remain my boss's plan B. Should I be flattered? Should I be insulted? Who knows! [...] I need time off..